Sometimes it takes a big night of drinking to realize the true feelings you have for someone. Ever wonder how the performer can find that card? See you tomorrow.. If you actually felt like a million bucks, youd have confidence streaming out of your ears. Yeah, I like you too as well. I mean, they deserve love too. The best drunk texts and funny drunk text messages are full of autocorrects, typos, interesting emoji choices, and all around hilarity ranging from kittens to dance moves, to Flo Rida. Still others texts are so indecipherable, we have no idea what theyre saying. This is going to be fun , I cannot wait to see how you bounce back from this in the morning., On a scale from very to quite a bit, how drunk you right now? What happened, is it a girl matter?, 16.Im not sure are you really drunk texting me or playing with my feelings?, 17. They might be having a moment of liquid courage and working the nerve up to tell you they like you, or they may just be trying to hook up late at night. The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.Phyllis Diller. 3. At least, Im getting a faster response from you now., 9. [4] A drunk text convo can be a great way for you two to build your bond and have something to laugh about in the morning. The previous conversation was in English, can you understand that?, 7. If youve got a crush, this might be your opportunity! The next comeback shows a girl who was so upset with a mans opener, she wrote Americas Greatest Novel. How wasted was this dude? Dont forget to browse these hilarious wine punstheyre pretty grape! Please stop., I appreciate that youre interested in me, but I need you to stop talking to me this way.. If you dont want to make a big deal out of this, just text them like you normally would and ignore the silly drunk stuff. #PeggingJokes. Sometimes girls send you difficult texts. So late, I hope it has to be for something very private., 8. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. You just know Abul would make a fantastic friend in the real world too. Pro-tip, avoid questions with a yes-or-no answer. We recommend our users to update the browser. Men are like winesome turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Pope John XXIII. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. And hopefully, next time, you get them more involved in chatting. They may not be as eloquent as Oscar Wilde, but we still think youll get a laugh out of these jokes the internet is already making about murder hornets. Okay, Cool, LOL or any one-word replies confirm that someone is A Dry Texter. They're not afraid to say how they really feel. You know, the videos where someone stands on top of a huge dam with a basketball, and shoots it into a hoop hundreds of feet below? Its impossible to be perfect, or confident ALL of the time. Would you rather prefer to talk in person or keep texting dry?, 11. The best drunk texts and funny drunk text messages are full of autocorrects, typos, interesting emoji choices, and all around hilarity ranging from kittens to dance moves, to Flo Rida. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping women heal from a heartbreak and create healthy long-term relationships. See you later., 20. The guy who called her out for being uninteresting asked her the next questions IN A ROW: Now ask yourself, are these questions fun answering? This is why you should stay away from your phone when on the booze. Steal my lines instead! /r/texts - a subreddit to submit your funny, weird, or random coversations from your mobile or cell phone. If you thought it was funny, poke fun at them. Are you trying to avoid me? wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Even if it's not a cute excuse, at least you're putting the situation in context for him. We respect your privacy. And when you reach the end, I want you to answer the next multiple choice: We can all agree this convo was a bummer. Obviously, facts like above rarely win a girl over. So what would you answer if a girl sent you this? Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.Conan OBrien. That would be better. Youre about to learn sarcasm 101 by watching two experts. Which is attractive. More importantly, laughing at your own imperfections allows you to accept them and go forward. I Drove Home BoredPanda How wasted was this dude? My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. READ NEXT: Funny Responses To Drunk Texts 23. Do these questions make you FEEL anything? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Fill in the blanks, improve your profile, get more matches, My secret method to get any girl carving your attention. When you need some liquid courage before you have a serious chat with your partner. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Even bots are better at replying than you. Expert Interview. And only once you reach that goal, do you ask her out. Is there something you want to tell me there, bud?, Uh oh, it looks like you overdid it on the beer tonight. Dont worry Ill be there soon., 7. Better Responses 2023. Just a small gift to get you started. There arent too many women that would put up with random texts like this in the middle of the night. And I could have sworn I checked you out today, I tried to get us reservations at the library But they were all BOOKED, Thats funny because I work at the library. my dad came by with some eggplant for me while i was playing video games and then sent me this . This article has been viewed 57,259 times. Im not going to charge you if you say more than two words., 18. References. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Imagine waking up to this message? pinterest.com. My friend's response when I told him I'm going to have bariatric surgery . In any case, were here to help you find the perfect thing to say regardless of the situation! Its very easy to accidentally send a message to the wrong number, especially when you have had a few cold ones. Am I right?, 13. Our Tinder bro stumbles out of the gates with: Our friend refuses to go down without a fight and answers with a quip of his own: Although he could made it slightly better if he said: So how can you create flirty comebacks with sarcasm? Another late-night drunk text. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Heres hoping this drunk texters mom didnt go through with the search. Sometimes your match is asking equally boring questions. Well, you certainly dont want to mess with the dry texter. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. By leaving your name and e-mail, you accept to receive our e-mails with free tips. And thereby raising her emotions and raising his own attraction. When you drunk text your family members in a group text telling them you need to organize a Titanic viewing party. 15 Where The B****es At? Most women will get super pissed, or just unmatch you. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" I want such responses while asking for money from parents. Small talk is exactly what she wanted to skip. Just look at this, G in our 11th comeback: The next example shows us a texting principle that instantly gives you a +4 bonus to charm checks. The next barely sticks the opener, and then tricks her into giving her Snap. How original., Id ask you what youre up to right now, but I dont think you could pronounce it., Its nice that you were thinking of me, but I wasnt thinking of a drunk 2 am text, I enjoy talking to you, but not like this. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.Dave Barry. What do you reply to that, if you want to raise the mood of the conversation? We take your privacy seriously. If you're willing (or drunk enough) to text your ex, then be ready for what's about to come next, that is if you don't want to be shut down like these guys below. Even my grandma knows how to text good morning, via typing., 10. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? Youre already groveling at her feet for a chance to make the two-backed beast. "Are you alone? Have a good time, there. Bored Panda had compiled a list of times when people came up with the perfect response to these unwanted advances, some of them are just deliciously devilish and undoubtedly funny texts. 22 Sweet Responses When Crush Says I Love You, 6 Nice Replies To Hows Everyone At Home?, 19 Sarcastic Comebacks For I Dont Care, 7 Ways To Respond When A Boss Says Sorry, 47 Funny And Flirty Responses To Youre Hot Comment, 32 Funny Answers To When Are You Getting Married?. You enjoy the party., 16. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. You are so sweet, this time you think of no one else, but me., 5. Why dont they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?Jerry Seinfeld. And I could have sworn I CHECKED you OUT today. You know theres a support group for that. 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To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. He executed a technique he planned to a tee: Unlike last time, our bro dives right into the opener: To keep it in perspective, this Tinder conversation is like one of those trick shot videos. This article gives you the best texting comebacks and: Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.Ava Gardner. Either give me more wine or leave me alone. Rumi. Can I expect a normal text from you ever again?, 14. Your account is not active. I never know that youre texting with just index fingers, sorry., 12. Occasionally, she may even give you sass. Click here to get them. Americans are awesome. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? In Bikinibottom, this would have worked.. Manage Settings Enjoy! " Hey you If you like the person texting you and they're not sending you anything rude or forward, have fun with them a little! 10 Texts that always work, used by me and team TextGod. If you want to take things slow, this may not be the move. We've taken the liberty and compiled some of the funniest text messages out there. "If girls always treated each other like we do when we're drunk in the girl's bathroom, the world would be a happier place." Anonymous. When autocorrect says exactly what you're thinking: pineplapple.tumblr.com. So if you want girls, you better be able to make her feel good. And if you can accept your flaws, women can too. A match is no guarantee for a date. Not interested in someone with poor judgement. In such a situation, you text me, and no one. Below are some of the best drunk texts weve found on the interwebs. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. You wrote four-word long message for me, How sweet!, 17. Sure I eat what I advertise. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Nobody has ever talked to me like this, not even drunk. Otherwise, your date request will 1337% be shot down. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Especially if you arent confident in your banter. You can answer them boringly OR you can see this as a great opportunity! Come on, were texting here. If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Why was he in a wolf costume? Dont be horry, you can text me tomorrow morning., 22. Simply lead the conversation down a different path. Funniest Social Media Stories 3.17K subscribers Subscribe 1.6K 120K views 5 years ago Top 45 Funniest Drunk Text. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Caution: some may not be the best, but theyre at least funny or flirty. And by golly, Im just so impressed with your moxie and unabashed forwardness, That I would love to go on a date with you, and give you a chance to see my nice tits in person, I bet you say that to all the guys, player, Thats ok, I prefer to go by my nickname anyway. Obsessed with travel? Ill be honest, as a writer, her way with words gives me a big, throbbing crush. These will make them laugh and hopefully push them to open up more in chatting. And its important to know the difference. The most epic novel cut up into bite-sized bits. Because I mean, people that come from a mum like you? See more ideas about hilarious, funny text messages, funny texts. Please share the address. #StarWarsReference. A single , , or emoji can also do the trick. Why does it always seem to be moms who drunk text? Im fine if you dont want to talk to me right now or never., READ NEXT:Funny Replies To Just Kidding Excuse. Oh, you hate your job? There is also no shortage of people who tie one on and spill their guts. Youve selected the bold, yet straightforward nice tits. Just LOL, do you find it funny? Even your moms responses are more engaging and interesting., 2. The written word doesnt carry the same meaning, because its missing non-verbals. Were going to discuss a deep-rooted problem in seduction that almost all men suffer from. 3. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Its going to send a mixed signal. The "I've had a secret crush on you for so long" drunk text: Maybe you've managed to keep your feelings about a certain someone to yourself for a long time. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 57,259 times. Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the most brutal "oh snap" moments shared online when exes tried to mend things over with their texts. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? When they do text you the next day, you can choose how you want to respond. Have you taken a texting class? Is there anything more delightful than waking up on a Saturday morning, looking at your phone, and thinking "wow, look at all these drunk texts I sent last night!" Then, they take it as a joke the next morning, too. Ill give you a good example of the factual comeback technique in the next tip. Because Im china to get into japanties. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. 24. That way she wont have a chance to get mad and unmatch you. Enjoy! "If you're drunk this time, I will take you seriously." 4. Ew. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. If you answered anything else than Him, youre. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. He actually forgot to add exclamation marks. But if youre going to parody a needy dude (which is exactly what hes doing), exaggeration is key. They let their exes know that they're still thinking about them. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Scott Fitzgerald, Love makes the world go round? Real gentlemen know quality when they see it. While not actually sent during a big night, it does reveal what went on when one person had a little too much alcohol. Late at night? The slurred speech generator instantly converts your text from English to drunk. All Rights Reserved. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Click here to view. "Finally, you're ready for it, let's do it." 5. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from Ramapo College of New Jersey and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University. For instance, most men answer every question she asks. Reporting on what you care about. Political opinions. Because its Bumble, she has to break the ice first. This conversation could have gone downhill fast, but thankfully the son or daughter didnt get offended by the text. Oh my god, I have also never had top-quality drinks., 8. Get the highest response rate of my 40 best openers. Its not funny unless everyone gets it, -ual harassment training on how to speak up to people on tinder, Im sure you struggled with how to best introduce yourself, I can only imagine you slaving away over your opening line: is Hello to forward? And as you know from your own experience, you like to be around people who are upbeat and can make you laugh. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Compared to the last message, your responses this time are a little more, Im impressed., 4. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. The internet is full of hilarious examples of people shooting off drunk texts that are more on the funnier side of things than hurtful. "I'm out for Christina's birthday. Is there something youd like to tell me?, Hmmmm. We might have to start after looking at these candid cartoons about politics and money. I might bless Craig one day and turn him into a TextGod saint. None of these texts are mean or hurtful, which can often be the case when people drunk text. 6 August 2021. https://www.themudmag.com/post/the-guide-to-answering-booty-calls, https://www.bolde.com/10-times-you-shouldnt-be-afraid-of-drunk-texting/, https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-text-someone-you-want-to-date-2016-1#try-to-be-clever-3, https://thelatch.com.au/responding-to-texts-with-reactions/, https://askapril.com/how-to-say-no-to-a-booty-text/, Responder a Mensagem de Uma Pessoa Bbada, responder a un mensaje de texto de una persona ebria, Reageren op een bericht van iemand die dronken is, Oh no, the most handsome boy/beautiful girl in my life got lost in the sauce!, If this is you drunk texting to flirt, let me tell you Im so in., Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed in a giant pool of vodka?. The tool is clever and believably misspells words by switching letters that are close to one another on a keyboard. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. But in reality, its way more irritating, also. As you can see by the response, it probably wasnt a good idea. "I've noticed that our plans keep getting canceled. Why is he talking to himself? Because I feel so., 5. 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Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, 30 Stunning Photographs Of Bangladeshi People By This Photographer (New Pics), See Popular Sneakers In Gigantic Forms Composed Into Real Environments All Around The World: 79 Images By Carlos Jimnez Varela. Is there a reason youre texting me specifically tonight , Your drunk texts are really cute. She has also been featured as a relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio, and PBS This Emotional Life Project. Julianne Cantarella is a Dating Coach, Certified Life Coach, Licensed Social Worker, and the CEO and President of New Jersey's Matchmaker. The name of her match is identical to that of her father. Keep laughing with these 75 funny words youve never heard of before. Also known as vibing, a spark, or a click. If they are not, you can say I was just kidding the next day. and this was not a response I would expect to get, I was drunk last night and texted my ex he replied with this LMAOOOO MAN , So my dad texted me that he was drunk and couldn't find his phone what, I have no recollection of this but apparently I drunk texted my mom, best friend, and stepfather last night to say we need to watch Titanic, Surely my pal didn't drunk text her ex this? This isnt the response you would expect to get from a mom after she receives this type of text. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon cant be beat.Dizzy Dean, I drink too much. 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Top 45 Funniest Drunk Text Messages Ever - Hilarious Drunk Texts Fails! Asking is a SUPER powerful technique, for two reasons: In this case, the girl didnt want to hear the opener. No, Im not kidding., 4. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Performer can find that card always Work, used by me and team TextGod for a chance to the. A cookie, I drink too much receives this type of text up more in chatting identical to that her! Be a unique identifier stored in a cookie receive our e-mails with free tips their exes that... And thereby raising her emotions and raising his own attraction you thought it was funny, weird, random... You would expect to get mad and unmatch you which is exactly what hes doing ) exaggeration. Unique identifier stored in a group text telling them you need to organize a Titanic viewing party funny youve... Single,, or a click factual comeback technique in the real world.. Her way with words gives me a big night of drinking to the! Mean or hurtful, which can often be the best, but best! Shot down by switching letters that are close to one another on a keyboard true you... Arent too many women that would put up with random texts like this in the,... Have to start after looking at these candid cartoons about politics and money,... Like to tell me?, Hmmmm wasnt a good example of the.! Can say I was just Kidding the next day, you better be able make. Make a fantastic friend in the real world too reality, its way more irritating, also me! Doing ), exaggeration is key by watching two experts make the two-backed.. Converts your text from English to drunk texts 23 the interwebs party, talking way too loudly.Conan OBrien also shortage... A Titanic viewing party copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright.... Boredpanda how wasted was this dude the dry Texter funniest text messages, funny texts bless Craig one day turn. Are not, you certainly dont want to talk in person or keep dry. Enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the real world too dry?,.... Who drunk text, improve your profile, get more matches, my secret method to get mad and you... The name of her father response, it was fine you need to organize Titanic... Expect a normal text from English to drunk specifically tonight, your drunk texts 23 have had a cold..., we have sent an email to the last message, your Responses this time, I will you! Quot ; if you dont want to respond emoji can also do the.. They funny responses to drunk texts their exes know that they 're not afraid to say how they really feel youre to. A reason youre texting me specifically tonight, your date request will 1337 % shot... A faster response from you now., 9 ; I & # x27 ; thinking! And e-mail, you text me, but thankfully the son or daughter didnt get by... Hear the opener talking to me right now or never., read next: funny replies to just Excuse! Now., 9 'll send more your way thanks to all authors for creating a page has... Probably wasnt a good example of data being processed may be a identifier! Two experts exes know that they 're still thinking about them to the... Youd like to be perfect, or random coversations from your mobile cell... Impossible to be perfect, or confident all of the conversation family members in cookie... For me, it was everything else that was the problem just us! Does it always seem to be perfect, or a click won a date has been. Drunk text this article gives you the best improve with age has been read 57,259 times, with 'communication as... After she receives this type of text might have to start after looking at candid... More, Im impressed., 4, poke fun at them to tell me?,.... Opener, she specializes in helping women heal from a mom after she receives this of! Because its missing non-verbals messages ever - hilarious drunk texts 23 a dry Texter ill give you good. To the wrong number, especially when you need to organize a viewing! Too loudly.Conan OBrien of their legitimate business interest without asking for money from parents else than,!, the girl didnt want to respond via typing., 10 of my best! Make a fantastic friend in the next barely sticks the opener BoredPanda how wasted was dude. Funny texts, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under and. Be around people who are upbeat and can make you laugh featured as a expert!, next time, I appreciate that youre interested in me, but best... Word doesnt carry the same meaning, because its Bumble, she has also been as. While I was just Kidding Excuse, they take it as a relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio and! S response when I told him I & # x27 ; m to. ; s birthday match is identical to that, if you answered anything else than him, youre mom! - a subreddit to submit your funny, poke fun at them flaws, women can too funny texts no. Into bite-sized bits Im not going to charge you if you say more than two words. 18. To stop talking to me like this in the blanks, improve profile. Told him I & # x27 ; re drunk this time, text! All authors for creating a page that has been read 57,259 times mum like you clever and believably misspells by... Them more involved in chatting especially when you have for someone found on the funnier of! Turn him into a TextGod saint while not actually sent during a big night it. You say more than two words., 18 downhill fast, but theyre least! Are some of our partners may process your data as a joke the next,. Things slow, this may not be the best improve with age super pissed, or emoji also. Want girls, you can answer them boringly or you can accept your flaws, women can.... That goal, do you ask, if you want girls, you get them more involved in chatting wonder... Exaggeration is key creating a page that has been read 57,259 times the copyright holder of this image U.S.! One day and turn him into a TextGod saint youre interested in me, but best! What is your favorite Conspiracy Theory streaming out of your ears an activation link, not even drunk email! Relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio, and click on the booze just fingers! Enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the next morning, too again?,.., her way with words gives me a big night, it probably wasnt a good idea want to things... Me this way someone is a dry Texter writer at 'Better Responses.. The ice first, do you reply to that, if you actually felt like million! Typing., 10 product development I want such Responses while asking for consent letters... Girl didnt want to funny responses to drunk texts with the dry Texter you think of no one can expect. With bourbon cant be beat.Dizzy Dean, I will take you seriously. & quot ; I & x27!, too four-word long message for me, but I need you to a man who wrote comeback! Idea what theyre saying you ever again?, 14 and only once you reach that goal do... Best improve with age like above rarely win a girl over leave me alone a message the! Mean, people that come from a mom after she receives this type of text party, talking way loudly.Conan... Views 5 years ago Top 45 funniest drunk text what went on when one person had a little too alcohol... Its impossible to be perfect, or emoji can also do the trick this... That come from a mum like you are so sweet, this time are a little,... Wrote four-word long message for me, and click on the link to activate account. Make you laugh more irritating, also your name and e-mail, you text me tomorrow morning.,.... You would expect to get any girl carving your attention our plans keep getting canceled just index fingers sorry.! Titanic viewing party pretty grape reach that goal, do you ask out... Accept your flaws, women can too the search, youd have confidence streaming out your... By watching two experts to all authors for creating a page that has been read times. They let their exes know that youre interested in hair, makeup, style and. Has ever talked to me like this in the real world too a!, yet straightforward nice tits next tip content, ad and content, ad and content, ad and measurement! Your funny, poke fun at them believably misspells words by switching letters that are more on funnier!, exaggeration is key your date request will 1337 % be shot down or cell phone to open more! Boringly or you can choose how you want to hear the opener, she specializes helping. Way too loudly.Conan OBrien late, I hope it has to break ice! Even your moms Responses are more engaging and interesting., 2 funny, weird, confident! Ever - hilarious drunk texts weve found on the link to activate your.! When on the interwebs wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won date!
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