And they never ever come back. Yes, lol, 4 months. I texted to ask how his day was and he just said ok. He asked him if he was alright because he seemed off. On the contrary, when he texts after he disappeared, let him know that you dont put up with this kind of behavior. But no man in the world has never not done something like that, at least once. I told him to lose my number, havent heard from him, Im not a bug a boo, so I left it alone.. .. Hard to not know what he thinks and I guess its not much for me cause no response is an answer within itself. After that weekend, he never contacted me or we havent talked. Maybe Ive led a sheltered life, but I really didnt think that he or people would play with someones emotions like that, when I was so honest with about everything, I expected the same in return. The Internet, social media, iPhones and all those techie dvices now make it easier to not-be-a-man. Everyone has dozens of options, and if you DONT have a lot of options the other person will still assume that you DO, and put their defenses up accordingly. Anyways, its time to move on. Its been a month now since I wrote my goodbye email to him, no reply. He talked about having kids and getting married. I have spent this time dealing with my neediness issues.Thanks. We again tried to talk things over. I definitely dont want to just give up and move on because I feel as if our relationship is very unfinished. He was affectionate, chivalrous, and sweet. Life is all about karma. but then i found other pic after.. grrrrr Wouldnt we have a more trust-based society? As it happens, when you least look for it destiny knocks.. :). I kept saying we should just be friends but when the onslaught continued I deleted him. But now after this disappearing magic trick, Im not into him anymore. Why did he change all of a sudden? Get rid of the trash! Then told him It is not a good idea to see each other and thats all. 7. 3 weeks ago when I was in the hospital for a week after suffering my first seizures while at work, my ghost had had enough. Unhealthy. I would totally be ok with a guy disappearing if they didnt allow me to open my heart to them so much in the first place. Dont reach out again. He owed that to me after his drunken agression. Today I feel again like the day he asked for a break, all the hurt, anger, confusion, and tears have returned. Her goal is to bridge the gap with modern dating and help inspire people to learn to love dating. I still feel insulted and angry, because I really believe he owed me. As ghosting is becoming more pronounced nowadays, he might have thought that it was okay to do it since that might have happened to him too. And the girl got so crazy over this, and she came to his house and made a fuss about it. Humans are complicated. I know hes OK cuz I saw his truck at his work site yesterday morning and at his house last night. Of course he really didnt have much to say about it, said he just got off work and was tired and didnt need the drama, he actually said it in a nice way! Hes blocked me from WhatsApp and the dating site. Always . I did not answer nor respond last night when he tried contacting me. This statement needs to be at the forefront of this article. I try to keep a levelhead and let it all go. In his city instead but I will surprise him too and not give the actual date and he laughed and aid dont worry Ill be mentally prepared and make reservations. Slowly but surely I will start to feel 100% happy again where I dont think about him anymore. Is she capable to accept me for who I am or shell always expect me to pump extra energy into my likable sides and suppress my not so likable traits? You have not heard from him? I said thanks. Well earlier this year things changed. sometimes the wrong relationship ends with a fireball. This time has been hell for me and I miss him every day. I got breakfast but he really looked hungover and although we talked he looked very tired. During the last day of the 5th month I drank a bit too much at a graduation party and texted him. Anyhow. He even said next time we will play more PS4 games which indicate that he would come over to my place. The odd thing is he has NEVER ignored me before. In our first conversation after two months. He was soooo into me at first. We got along so well, but 4 months later, after a misunderstanding he asked for a 6 week break.This was the hardest thing I had been through for a long time, wondering. Im confused and hurt. His excuses for always not calling me, hes always working. No matter if they say they are miserable, unhappy, etc, you should not have entered into a relationship with someone else who is married. Another sign) Unfortunately I made the schoolgirl error of drinking on an empty stomach and got very drunk. I think after six months it was high time you asked where the relationship was headed, and it should have a title by then. He pursued me like crazy in the beginning. Now I am dumbfounded! It does suck and it will for a while but like this post said keep busy and time will heal. I find disrespectful to ask smn and to dissapear . I know it hurts, but at least it ended before you got in any deeper. I was not texting that much, scared of disturbing him.. he was the one texting. Is this because of me being a little bit cold (but I have reasons because I consider it disrespect when smn says I am going to sleep now) or what? He lives in a different country to me and weve skyped and talked on the phone for hours but always remained friends even though we both knew we had feelings for each other. Im taking it he needs space and to catch up on his finances and his work. He never replied. Be kind always. Ashley, what you need to do is look at YOURSELFtake a long, hard lookand say What am I worth? Apparently, YOU think youre of so little worth that its okay for men to ignore you. It started when he lost his phone so he had to email me and the messages grew shorter and became more sparse so it ended up that I was making the effort to carry on conversations. Im having a hard time reconciling THIS guy (the guy I knew for the last 6 months) and the guy who just up and disappeared. Its been 3 months plus now, do you think time healed you? I was never mean to him or clingy, only kind and understanding and non judgemental, so it really hurt, especially since it was the first time I let my guard down after having it up for so long. After he left to melbourne on 20th it broke me, where as hed just say he misses his family and home (His family stays here) and now hes totally cut me off doesnt respond to me i see him online all the time, I feel used and hurt cos we promised each other vl be there for each other during this phase of separation. What the heck does that mean? It takes balls to have that conversation. Im sorry to say that even dating in the senior years, there are people that are grand mothers (and grand fathers) that behave like this. He, on the other hand, grew up to be sort of overweight and greasy looking, less well carried on a shorter man. I would love to spend more time with you to see how we get along but if thats not a part of your plan, then I dont want to waste my time. I felt that he might have been in a relationship when we met but no confirmation of it. Suffice to say he hasnt replied (its been 8 days) reading the blogs/comments here im in 2 minds: do I drop a friendly text to see if hes still alive? Were you thinking about this quantitative list BEFORE dating this person? Please. It hurted me so much since i got ghosted out. I know when someone is laying it on thick. We have a great time, joke, flirt, meet again and have sex, which was amazing. Also, I noticed. His goal is to get you to do as he wants because thats the only way youll keep welcoming him back. Update: before he left he send message that he was sorry that we didnt had chance to spend more time before his vacation. I know id tell someone If i wasnt feeling it. and it feels good (even though the situations are sad) to know that there are other persons out there who had guys disappeared on them but who also tried to re initiate contact. 9. I have a couple of relationships before but I had chosen not to sleep with any of my exs although, love was there but I was never comfortable. I educated my self enough to let go. 3 Months is a lot of time and there should be at least a modicum of trust and comfort built up by then. Relationships are meant to develop organically over a period of time, with a strong base of friendship and trust. And so we met on Day 8. that sounds like something that recently happened to me and I am at lost for words. He drove me home and I was a bit confused. Ghosting is a way of dealing with almost any problems. We went on dates, we talked to each other on the phone almost every day or we exchanged messages. I want closure, i would think i at least deserve an explanation. Just be yourself. So fine I left him alone, he put me on ignore. I asked him severally if he didnt want to be me. I am starting to think he is getting in his feelings and needs some time to push them back. Hi Ryan, He has not been in a relationship where he said he felt like he wanted to marry the person except for one girl who he was friends It doesnt make you cheap or easy. Im sorry youre hurting, but realise that hes just not that into you to take care of youre emotions and perspective. What about us? I guess he texted me on impulse and then regretted it and is not man enough to face it hmm. Take back control and see the logic. The good news is, that doesnt diminish you and what you have to offer some other great guy. Im just thankful I dont have to go further with any of them. Its just a horrible conversation to have. Several days ago, my friends, who didnt know that me and him are no longer together, met him at the bar. . I text no response, no contact at all. Before you reach out, remember your relationship and think about how your ex makes you feel. Then he texts back and tells me his grandmother had passed and he would be with his family for the next few days. He seemed like a very reasonable, mature guy and it literally seemed perfect You want Men to bow down to you. After two weeks, and no response, I finally texted him and asked if I should just assume that he didnt want to see me or talk to me anymoreand if that was the case, it would have been really nice if he had been adult about instead of disappearing. I don't know. Why say he loves me then?! ? well I know I should leave it.. not text- au revoir etc. Simple as that. Theyre not the right guy for you, thats all. Things were back to normal it felt. Believe me, he will pick up on small incongruencies in your behaviour and a lack of attraction on your part, some women can be incredibly flaky. As with most painful experiences only time will heal. The excitement of meeting you might have worn off which directly might have affected the decline of attraction. And the guys that I date are meant to come from pretty good background (i.e. unfortunately it wasnt just a 7 minute conversation- you sensed him cooling off and pulling away long before that. If he says one thing but does another, then its time to start doing a slow fade out of your own. Help, Yep, met this guy on match, we spent some good times together for about 2 months(our first date we talked for 6 hours and never even got around to out food! I keep thinking to myself: ButI have read a few articles that I downright disagreed with that sort of blamed the woman for a breakup. It will be less scary the second time you communicate similar message. They hang out together every now and then but its strictly friends, platonic, not a date, but with sleep overs separate rooms. It has been almost four months now since. I felt better when I confronted him because I have found there are lot of men or women that need to respect themselves and the other person even if you think there is going to be drama. 3: All other scenarios, read 1 or 2 again. This way you at least preserve your dignity. You are way better off. Confused About Why Men Disappear? The thing that really pisses me and confuses me were him saying I love you, suggesting a party in May, more video game time together He even held my hand when I walked him to his car! If he cant give you what you want then maybe its best if he walks away and never comes back. In fact he told me that twice in about a months time. Im guessing no (but would love to hear otherwise). He sstopped replying me and disappeared.. two weeks ago, when walking at the train station, we unexpectedly met, hes the one who saw me, stopped walking, smiled at me..i was so relieved and wondered what he had thought of me.. he messaged me later that saying that we had to meet again, he thought I was gorgeous, and a lot of other nice things when finally I told him so when are we hanging out , I got a lets plan for next week babe, I asked him when , and he never replied. Turns out he has started to date someone else. Im curious, do guys back off if they feel they are falling too hard for someone? I guess Ill never know why. I left for vacation the following weekend, so three weeks after the first date, we had our second. You think to yourself how can someone take advantage of you and use you then just disappear. We would text a lot. We started seeing each other. FML,,The only reason I have tolerated this so far was because I really liked him as a person before getting attracted to him as a man..so I am looking for that person who I started liking before things got all weird and before he started acting wishy washy. You dont get permission to hurt me again. Who HAVE declared love? That night was the last time I seen him in almost 4 months. He became very jealous, and controlling. There could be a 1001 reasons why he disappeared and then reappeared, but basically the bottom line is. This is why guys disappear. Then he said hed like to see me later that evening. All of a sudden, he gets really distant. Ok What didnt he like about me? If its the early stages of a long distance relationship, and theres a bit of ghosting, is it the same of hes just not that into you? Off at his hotel and said, he is tired and we should meet up for dinner and i said, Ill come pick him up. Then one night he revealed his true self and I realised he had just be playing or messing with me when he had gone over board at the beginning. Im thinking that there was someone else in the pictureeither someone else he liked and it panned out, or he got back together with an ex. I texted him the following evening (Monday) apologizing for staying so late, and said I hope he got enough sleep. He didnt say anything and I didnt say anything. Nothing. My friends think hes a douchebag and probably seeing that girl. He isnt a social person so I know hes not out at night and I know hes home most weekends. Just because you meet someone and they dont turn out to be who you thought or they disappointed you because they didnt behave a certain way or meet certain expectations doesnt mean that it wasnt worth it. I have no idea why! So Im supposed to be all like, NO you need to text me and call me, your behavior is unacceptable and I dont care if your mom is dying LOL, no way! What a coward! The vast majority of men wont even talk to you once they find out that you have kids You know this is true. I casually ask of he wants to hang out before he goes in hopes he might invite me along or to feel out if he wants to include me but he says he already left. he said theyre only fren. Maybe something has actually happened to him? My birthday plans were two days later. Danielles avoid list: I have made a promise to myself from this day on to stay away from men who text. about an hour went by and I call him he did not pick up at emailed him he didnt respond so what then I went to Facebook to message him at that point I realized that he had unfriended me. Loving friendships can happen anywhere, but for actual romance you need that 3rd dimension. Its an addiction to. Its really done a number on my confidence because let me tell you, I truly trusted thi mans character and would have never thought him capable if something so cruel and immature. Im amazed that I still got dumbfounded after all that time. 7 days no contact!! I send him a simple i miss you message during that time and then he replied back that he misses me too. So in a situation where you have a talk and you give him an ultimtum, he decides he wants to work things out he doesnt want to break up, he would just like me to make it interesting again like before? Reply Link. No!!!! Where exactly do I start ..cause I am soooo hurt to the point of anger!lol There is a right and a wrong. At first I thought it was just he was busy. One month ago, I thought I was in a relationship with a man I would someday call my husband. At least she doesnt sound like drama for you if you are emotionally available and not in crisis. Once the first vanishing occurs, others are sure to follow. None of us are perfect and we can all improve ourselves (especially men!). (shes not interested in ME she doesnt care to learn anything about me, shes only interested because i showed up, and because i happen to be a good man). She deserves a lot better than my bullshiets and keeping her at bay is in many way my expression of caring for her. You can reach out to someone with a professional perspective on what youre dealing with! Since that day, we started having something else (but never talked about it) and we ended up hooking at every single party and social event (we even went together to a wedding and a friends prom). He came with not really a lot of notice (40 mins) for me. Now that hes shown you how little he really appreciated you, its time for you to show him your back. He seems to be getting flirty and friendly with some girl. Why wasnt I good enough? We talked about the future and how he was coming to see me in nov. And 3 months later he will leave on our 5 month anniversary. Let him know what you want. The next week everything was the same the same amount of talking and interest. You dont say how old you are, but my guess is you are fairly young. He is a considerate person and hes talked about breaking up with girls. It sucks and its hurting inside, but theres no point wasting your emotion and waiting for someone who doesnt really care about your feelings. When we would speak on the phone it was fine but again, the texts were different. he makes you laugh. It is Not about me . He didnt disclose of that until I had to ask him. Me, never get time to sort though all Iv been through. I was easy going, no pressure, fun , good company etc And I never heard about him!! It will be the best, most satisfying feeling in the world if you can somehow find the strength to say, Thanks, but no thanks. That was a red flag to me, if youve been physical with someone and they have something else to do. Hey, I can tell youre so preoccupied with things, which is fine. Life is difficult, and then you die. He said he had a great time. Coming back to you isnt an option and you wont allow him to do that. Give him space and if he doesnt talk to you then Eff him and move on. ::(( We both laughed and said it was a good thing anyway because we had both had alcohol. Its been 3 weeks now. I wasnt really experienced with men and I didnt have any prior knowledge on the whole dating-men etiquette so I know I was the one who ruined it. I had one who wanted me to be his angel while HE pinned over his ex of 4 months. He kissed me multiple times and texted me right after he got home to let me know that he got him safely. He then sent a text stating that he hasnt forgotten about me and hope all is well. In response I stated Never crossed my mind that you had. i noticed he stopped having sdex with me and got concerned, but before I could even ask him about that he explained it away with his depression. Quite judgmental and making many assumptions. But in this case, he dropped communication because of a family issue, thats completely understandable! The list is exhausting. We spoke and it was like nothing had changed, in fact he couldnt keep his hands off me. *There is consideration of the so called "man cave," but if he's not coming out of his man cave within a week, it's time . He finally contacted me and explained what happened. I did tried to understand. I did that for myself and I felt better because I felt that I released those angry feelings on him. He didnt do that to the other love interests that I knew he had previously. I do not take being intimate lightly and I was devastated and very hurt. Its painful to be in that situation but what youve got here screams pre-existing condition lol, as in he probably has an ex somewhere that came back into the picture. He knew he could say good by at any time in in the past 6 mo the that we were heading this long distance thing. And I questioned myself a lot if I wasnt good enough for him, if I ever did something wrong to him, if I wasnt pretty enough compare to another girls. Me anymore? Why cant men just be consistent. As I have mentioned before, after he sent the email asking for a break, I waited ovr week to reply. Hands down I praise you men like down at the end of the day they arent real men just a bunch of whims who dont deserve any kind of women. But Im sorry I told him I didnt understand wtf happened and that it was shitty of him to not do this on ohone or in person. I go from sobbing to feeling actual pain to anger to forgiveness Im a mess!! Guys who care about you do not blow you off. He doesnt like to text because of the little letters on the phone. I deleted him that was a red flag to me after his drunken agression friendship trust. Man in the world has never not done something like that, at least she doesnt sound drama. 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